DONMW

How do couples in this century deal with their mental health? I wonder how each spouse escape from the shackles of the heaviness in their heart towards their partner.

While single, you only think of what’s best for you, you made sure you fret yourself from things that would disrupt your peace of mind, ignoring things that would give you anxiety then.

Now that you are married, you do not only think about yourself alone you also add your spouse and possibly children in the future to your thought, in fact sometimes you intend to do things for you but in the end you forget the things meant for you and do things for the family.

Protection; God is the ultimate protector but you as a woman think of how to protect your husband from temptations and sorts, you also try to protect your children from dangers at home and their environs, meanwhile you at some point break down and on that bed your thoughts are with your family and how to keep them safe, all these and more can affect ones mental state. These things make couples think of murder and suicide.

Not to scare the single ladies though but make sure you are mentally stable before saying “I DO” because a lot in marriage will want to drain you so you have to be up and doing, be master in charge of your mental health so you don’t give in to depression at any point in time in your marriage. Seek Godly advice, share your concerns and thought with God-fearing people when you feel you cannot handle things around you.

Mental Health in Marriage is Real!!!!! Do not joke with the state of your mind….

Life after marriage is not the same as being single; you need to be prepared so you don’t get caught off guard, you must summon courage amidst the troubles ahead in your marriage. You need to be rooted and grounded in The Spiritual.

A lot of couples especially ladies do not have spiritual sensitivity to get things in the deep before it manifest in the physical. As a woman, you need to stand your ground in the spiritual, being able to get things faster before reality sets in is very important. It’s never about slaying or rocking the ring on your finger, it’s about being able to hold your home together with your husband’s support. The Bible says “One can chase a thousand, but two can chase ten thousand”… that’s in multiples.

My single ladies, “Do not envy your married friends”. I repeat “Do not envy your married friends”. They make look happy on the outside but on the inside she has battles she is dealing or fighting in her marriage. Listen to them or ask them about their life after marriage, it would seem like you just opened the book of Chronicles on them. We all have a story to tell.

I know being single for too long is not a good sign but sometimes you need to just relax and enjoy it while it last not forgetting your future but sometimes it’s very therapeutic. It is very important for your state of mind but do not abuse such opportunity though because it can lead to something you might later regret. Just enjoy yourself in the little way you can and God help you through the rest.

Marriage has its own weight; you just have to make sure you are equipped enough to allow Christ carry the weight for you.

Like I wrote earlier in the previous post, getting married entails a lot, much is expected from you most especially as a woman in my country…. You are expected to change from your spinsterhood life to activating a marriagehood like kind of life, you are expected to drop all the things that made you the woman you were before you got married… It is only your husband that who is meant to continue to live his bachelor’s life before he married you.

You must not dress like you are single, you must not look like you are single, you are not allowed to flirt or be seen with another man, be it talking ,gisting, having sexual conversations etc. You must answer only to your husband. He has every right on you but you do not have any right to question him. That is the CHANGE that happens to most women if not all.

When you get to the next stage.. having children, then you become you worst fear because at such time you would completely forget about yourself, who you were before you got married, you might even get stucked at some point or drop your goals and careers to attend to the needs of your family. Your children will seek your utmost attention while their Daddy would want you to be there for him at all times, by the time you’re half way through answering them, your home calls for your attention and then you’d realize that time has gone… you have not accomplished anything for yourself.

You begin to ask yourself…How did I go wrong? where do I start from? what did I do the wrong way? There and then you’d realize… You have CHANGED so much that you forgot totally about yourself.CHANGE IS ALWAYS CONSTANT, CHOOSE TO MAKE THE CHANGE YOUR WAY CONSTANTLY………

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PRETENCE, one of the destroyers of marriage most especially in my country Nigeria.
Singles or Intending couples are seen pretending to be what they’re not in a relationship after marriage, they turn out to be someoneelse entirely.

When you were in a relationship, the good act was enacted, after the wedding another act was activated which was quite different from what was seen during your relationship.

I wonder what went wrong?🤷 Was it not the same person who was kind, faithful, caring, loving, truthful, secret free, gentle, friendly during courtship…how come such person became their partner’s worst nightmare.. What happened? What changed? Who got disconnected? Who was pretending all along?

These questions and more are what’s going on in the mind of a married Nigerian, in a twinkle of an eye, divorce, emotional trauma, domestic violence sets in….when one person drifts away or stopped the pretence….

My question is what happened to the love both parties shared before they tied the knot?

What went wrong? Who was truthful and who was pretending?
Feel free to drop your answers…….

I never knew that marriage was with bags and baggages, I never knew marriage would demand more than what I had, I never knew it was a full-time job😁😀

Marriage in my country has always been pictured as a perfect life where adults are always happy and looking radiant as if they’re enjoying the best in their new home.

I’ve always dreamed of that seeing their happy faces 😍, thinking about my own marriage when I grow up and how lovely it would be…

Only to grow up and discover that I have a part to play in it so as to have a perfect marriage but wait…..

Is there anything as a perfect marriage???

Join me as we explore the views and experiences of women in their marital affairs